The Royal Parks 2009 - An everyday tale of a Half Marathon & managing the charity masses

by David Chittock

With my wife working for the Blue Cross , the animal welfare charity at Burford , it was inevitable I would run a fundraising race for them at some point , & so on Oct 11th I turned out (on our 10th wedding anniversary weekend, very romantic) at the Royal Parks Half Marathon in London for Team Blue Cross . It was also part of the deal that I help out with the organisation of the event for their 200+ runners & so began an education into the trials & tribulations of running a charity event. Heres the tale.

It began with a Saturday morning raid on Morrison’s Up Hatherley to secure the worlds’ production from the previous week of croissants, pain-au-chocolat & doughnuts for our runner’s breakfast & post run refreshment. Bemused shoppers peered at our laden trolleys enquiring as to our motives. So many gazed at us confirming my suspicions that nothing really does happen in Up Hatherley these days. I half expected a tannoy to announce the excitement to be had at till number 12!

Children safely deposited for 2 days; it was then a hot foot trip to Hyde Park & the creation of “Blue Cross HQ” (BCHQ from now on) in the charity marquee village. We met our fellow BCHQ staff, only to find that helpfully the organisers had recognised we all needed some further weight training & made us lug all the gear from the cars 150 yards across the park , rather than letting us park next to our tent . Nice touch.

Two hours later & BCHQ was successfully kitted out for the next day, whilst we did gaze longingly though at “Asthma UK” next door with their tasteful table ribbon edging. Details matter in charity-land I realised.

We were due back at Hyde Park by 7.00am on Sunday but negotiations with our hotel for an early breakfast proved fruitless so I set off in search of a local McDonalds to check opening times. Finding one quite nearby & a notice in the window of “Opens 5am” I politely enquired if this included Sundays. An indignant reply came back to the effect of “Of course we do, we open every day at 5am”. I politely informed them I just wanted to be sure as I was a little surprised coming from the far off land of Gloucestershire where we still have early day closing on Wednesdays so we have a free afternoon to burn our witches and point at the pretty airplanes in the sky.

Dinner was a very pleasant Pizza Express trip near our hotel. Very nice compared to my last pre half-marathon supper where trying to get a table in Durham the night before the Great North Run involved a wait until sometime around Easter.

5.45am Sunday morning came & I was down to McDonalds. I was surprised to find the streets so busy. Apparently “young people” these days are out at their discotheques till that time of the night (morning?) listening to their “pop records”. What is the world coming to I tut, but only to myself.

Returning to Hyde Park & it was time to open BCHQ. Our first runners began to arrive about 8.00am & we welcomed them warmly with croissants & tea. They all seemed a very jolly bunch with a mix of ½ m. regulars & first timers. Names were ticked off at the door to check for imposters; I was to learn later that it is regular for “blaggers” to gain unofficial entry to such “charity tents” & steal their croissants. What is the world coming to I tut, but only to myself.

AA social sec & Blue Cross employee Julie Scourfield showed up. Julie had a marvellous excuse for not running in that she is 8 months pregnant. Some people will go to any lengths.

BCHQ team photos were taken & then it was time to assemble at the start. Not that great a level of organisation I thought to get everyone in place; 54,000 people at the great north run seemed better organised than 15,000 people here. I notice the obligatory comedy running trio, a carrot & 2 runner beans. Standing in my designated zone, getting ready to go, I was explaining the rudimentaries of chip timing to some South African 1st timers when my ears tuned into a conversation nearby where I heard an extremely interesting description of a rather “carnal” nature & the words “morning after pill”. Trust me it was quite an education.

The race got underway & I thoroughly enjoyed the 1st 6 or 7 miles. Out of Hyde Park, down through Westminster, along the Embankment, back through Whitehall, The Mall, Buck Palace and back into Hyde Park. The second half in Hyde Park was a little tedious though with endless criss crossing of the park, often with another half of the field passing you in the opposite direction; atleast I now know what a 1.20 1/2M runner looks like as they sail past you. I noticed the carrot & 2 runner beans doing particularly well.

A worrying trend I noticed on this run (& have seen elsewhere) is the mobile phone calls “on the run”. For the love of God, WHY? For a couple of hours of your life, leave your phone alone!! Especially when a runner at about 11 miles after panting ....“I’m at 11 miles” into the phone was clearly given the news of the death the day before of Stephen Gately & practically dissolved into tears. Shrugged shoulders from all those around her.

With the carrot & 2 runner beans a mere speck on the horizon, I finished in a respectable for me 1.54mins. If only I had skipped that tour of Buckingham palace I could have cracked the 1.40 and saved £8.50. I collected my eco friendly wooden medal & then back to BCHQ for the real hard work of the day. The Marquee was beginning to hum as our noble runners returned. Lunch was ready although a miscalculation did seem to have resulted in a dangerous over-buy of Tuna & sweet corn sandwiches which only the next intake of “The Apprentice” candidates could have surpassed.

As I said there appears to be a worrying trend in charity running land of “hospitality-crashers”, eager & cunning to pounce on your carefully procured sandwiches & croissants. Despite checking names at the door, they still seemed to get through. One particular group of towering Italians hoovered their way through our Tuna & sweet corn sandwiches which given their size (the Italians not the sandwiches) I chose to allow them the benefit of the doubt that they may have actually run for the Blue Cross. However as they helped themselves to a £1.00 Blue Cross pin badge each, my stiff upper lip, Dunkirk British spirit kicked in . I spent the next 7 minutes trying to establish the Italian for “charity“ and "please leave now”. Thankfully they did; with all my features intact.

20 minutes later & it was a duo of dubious looking “Feral youths” trying the same trick. I was now getting used to this “charity bouncer” game & they were soon despatched. I made a mental note to ring a daily mail reporter in the morning about the state of our youth today. 2 minutes later I noticed them rummaging the bins at the back & felt a wave of guilt; I had just thrown out the homeless.

Much jolly banter with our runners later & it was time to pack up for the day & head back to “sleepy Gloucestershire”. The thought of trekking our stuff back even further to the cars proved too much & we tried to entice a man in his very natty, eco friendly, Royal parks electric van thingy to help. However we could only offer him Tuna & sweet corn sandwiches in payment. Politely he declined so it was a further bout of weight training for us all.

Arriving back home Sunday afternoon, thoroughly exhausted, not from the 13.1 miles but from my charitable duties & the stresses of fronting up to 6.5 foot Italians armed only with a tuna & sweetcorn sandwich. All great fun though & I totally appreciate now the effort & workload that goes into managing the charity masses.

Same time next year for sure, & a beautifully routed half marathon I recommend to any Almosts to give a try, especially if you can raise a few quid for Mrs C. & co too.